Wednesday, May 8, 2013

day 8: don't forget who you are....

Day 8: A piece of advice you have for others

As women, we tend to get lost in all of the hats that we wear as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and sometimes we forget the most important person in our life - ourself.  Time and time again, I have said to friends that " we need to take care of ourselves first or we won't be any good to the people that we love"  It was a hard lesson that took me many years to learn and at times there will be people in your life that perceive it as "selfish" but in my opinion it is a definite necessity for our well being. 

Many years ago, when I was in my early  40's - I left a marriage that I had been in for 20 years.  I truly and honestly felt so lost.  I didn't know who I was.  For so many years I had been someone's wife.  I was still the mother to two fabulous kids, but aside from that - the me, as a person was nowhere to be found.  Who was I?  To the outside world, I may have seemed fine, (except the sometimes sporadic outburst of tears) but personally I was struggling with so many emotions and insecurites.  I had lost the person I once was.  My friendships were put on the back burner, as life as a wife and mom got busier with each passing year.  I had made some new friends towards the end of my marriage, and they literally walked me thru life for the next few years.  It took me quite awhile to get my barrings, but when I started getting back in contact with all of my old friends, it was like time hadn't passed and slowly but surely I found who I was again.  It's been 13 years and I definitely have a good idea who I am at this moment in my life and you know what?  I really like that person alot!  It's taken years to be able to say that but I think despite all the hardships thru life, I have turned out ok...So no matter what you are going thru please don't forget that first and foremost you are a person and you matter. There is no reason to feel guilty about loving yourself first, it's an absolute necessity!



(photo via here


simone antoniazzi said...

I absolutely love this Cathi, you always sound as though you are really at peace with yourself, such a good thing to be.

Great post XX

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this. Your words are good advice for anyone, at whatever stage in their life they may be.

Anonymous said...

You're right, we do tend to think that when we put ourselves first we are being selfish. But I've come to realize that selfish isn't just about being first and disregarding everyone's the important of putting self in a place of importance and that means not "last in line". Great thoughts Cathi! xo

Lori said...

This is wonderful advice ~ and I love learning more about you even after all these years. xo


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